Sometimes people have an expectation that if their ancestors are really, truly talking with them they will hear full sentences, or see a clear person in their mind’s eye. While this does happen for people occasionally, people’s first connections are not usually as clear as this. As a wise friend once told me, if you are waiting for Mufasa to speak from the clouds you are likely missing a lot of communication that can be just as important, but more subtle.

When you are attempting to connect with your ancestors here are a few things to pay attention to:

Body sensations and/or Emotions: Looking back to notes I took when I was beginning to reach out to ancestors I have whole meditations where I didn’t “see” or “hear” anything. Instead I would get body sensations or emotions as responses to the prompts in the guided meditation. Sensations like “tightness in my gut, tightness when trying to breathe,” “brightness and joy, a feeling of sunlight on my face,” “a tingling in my crown area and the back of my head,” “a happy, light feeling in my body,” and “a sense of feeling loved.”

Body reactions: Ears ringing, yawning or coughing, a smell that is not related to anything in the room (roses, pipe smoke, a pine forest, etc.).

Nature Noises: From some of my early notes: “At first I felt I was seeing many grandmothers and then it abruptly stopped. Then, nothing for a long time. As I was wondering if I should give up I hear the sounds of birds outside. I hear the sounds of trees moving in the wind. I feel some connection. These grandmothers heard these sounds.” In different meditations hearing certain specific bird cries has been meaningful or the wind has picked up at specific, meaningful times.

Music or songs in your head: In another old journal entry, I wrote that I began to hear song lyrics in my head. Instead of trying to push the song out to concentrate on the meditation, I let it play through. As soon as it was done I began to get a sense of the Ancestral Guide I would meet on this line. This line continued to communicate with me through song lyrics and music in our work together. Sometimes I would hear just a snippet or I would only know one line of the song. After the meditation was over I would often look up the lyrics and find that there was a message in them related to this line and the work we were doing. If you start to hear a song play while you are connecting with ancestors, don’t push it away! See if it deepens the experience.

Your own reactions: When I first started connecting with ancestors I used recordings of guided meditations. The person reading the meditation had a masculine voice. I felt annoyed by the meditation recording, even though I had been excited to start. I began to realize that I was annoyed by the “maleness” of the meditation guide’s voice. I had no idea why. Now, after working with this line for quite some time, I know that this line is very focused on the feminine and the power that comes from the feminine. While I did not understand it at the time, in hindsight I can see that this odd annoyance I felt was giving me clues to the themes of this line. This also illustrates how it can be helpful to take notes! Even when you feel like you didn’t get all that much to write down. Meanings often become more clear later.

Give it time and practice

Remember, relationship and understanding builds over time. Think about having a conversation with someone you’ve just met versus having a conversation with a good friend. In a first conversation you are learning about a person and it is easy to mistake tone, misinterpret their meaning, or just feel unclear about the conversation. With a good friend something as simple as a gesture or a tone of voice communicates their meaning and emotions to you easily. As you work with your ancestors you will develop relationships. It will be easier to interpret signs because you will have familiarity (for example, certain birds remind me of certain lines of my ancestors, certain folk tales are a sign of another line). Regular practice is the key!